I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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