All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
should my penis look like a turkey
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm always down for nudity.
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