So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
