We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
