Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
