Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
how drunk are you?
Several
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
