you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
