Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
