we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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