just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
