Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
