There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
