everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You were trust falling into bushes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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