was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
