it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
