Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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