I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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