did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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