you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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