Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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