i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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