I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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