i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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