I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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