ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
