walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
