The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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