Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
