Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
