ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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