I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
