At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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