I seem to have left my pride at pride
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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