I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
