i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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