you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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