you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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