Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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