Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
