I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
