im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
