I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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