Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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