My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
