Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
we should paint friendship bongs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
