The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
