omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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