DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
