Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
