I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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