CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
