Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
