The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
