I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
