She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
